reflecting on 2019

Well, hello there! It’s definitely been a minute since my last blog post. While I’m no stranger to the occasional break, I think this might actually be the longest period of time I’ve gone without making an update. In that time, nothing drastic happened. I didn’t fall off the face of the earth, and I certainly didn’t give up on blogging altogether. If anything, life has been keeping me on my toes throughout 2019, and not in a good way.

Like most years, I started 2019 with a sense of wide-eyed optimism. But after the thrill of the new year died down, it didn’t take me long to realise that my mental health was steadily on the decline. At that point, I could barely muster up the motivation to blog, or keep up with my usual hobbies. In fact, I found it painfully difficult to get excited about anything in my life. I started to feel like I was going through the motions everyday, trapped in an endless cycle of eating, sleeping and working. And with my constant health problems thrown into the mix, I couldn’t help but feel like I had little to no things to be happy about.

Especially when you have chronic illness, it becomes easy to sideline your mental health. You often need to see so many doctors and specialists, that the thought of taking on one more can seem like too much to handle. But sometime this year, there was a real turning point where I realised I needed to seek out professional help. It hasn’t been easy — after all, therapy isn’t supposed to be a walk in the park. But for now, I’m glad to say that I’m in a relatively okay place. While 2020 is shaping up to be another difficult year for my health, I can at least feel a little more prepared with the knowledge I’ve gained over the past year.

With all the time I’ve spent looking inwards this year, it’s easy to brush off 2019 as a year where nothing happened. But that’s not actually true! I constantly forget that I went to Thailand and Singapore earlier in the year, even though I’m still yet to go through my photos. I feel like I’ve come a long way professionally, as working at an agency has certainly kept things interesting. And of course, countless memories with my friends and family have made getting through the tough times a lot more bearable.

As we enter the new decade, I definitely have a lot to think about. I’ll officially be in my mid-twenties (meep), and it’s such a weird age to be. Half of my peers are settled down and married, while the other half are still figuring things out, just like I am. While my younger self would be freaking out right now, it’s taken me way too long to realise that it’s okay to not have my entire life sorted. As long as I keep doing life at my own pace, I’ll be totally fine. Anyway, if you’re still reading thanks so much for sticking around til the end. I hope you all have a great new year, and see you in 2020!